his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
