Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
