Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
