Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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