I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
