I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
