And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
