Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
