Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
