i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
