Im at strip club and am horny
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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