Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
