we're blogging at a bar
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
