I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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