What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
