If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
