I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
