True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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