i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
