She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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