spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I pour the whiskey from now on
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
