We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
