may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
