I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
