Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
