I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
