I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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