So drunk its hurt
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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