so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he puts the penis in happiness.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
