Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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