What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
