So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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