Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
