you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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