Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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