I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
