I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
