i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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