If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
