So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
