your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
