Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
