Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
