I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
