I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I would fuck him just for his dog
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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