Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she pinky promised me she was 18
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
