Sponge bath it is.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
