I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
