I love black thongs
I want to make a zoo with you.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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