Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
too bad you live with your parents still
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
