Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
