no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
